Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Who is the problem?

The past several days I've found myself going back to a tiny little incident in which I was told a little white lie by a friend.  That's it.  We all tell those.  I happened to be aware of the tiny white lie because of my with-my-own-eyes saw that what I was told wasn't true.  Rather than discussing the fact that I've been guilty of this many times in many tiny ways; I just want to say that I was offended, my feelings got hurt, and I thought about trust and my own judgement about what kind of friends I choose to have.

Today the universe got involved with my emotional exploration and profound discovery that I, am, in fact, the problem.  These are the kinds of things I expected to think about on my long journey across Spain next year, but I am finding that the more I pay attention, the more the muses feed me.  I came across a blog this afternoon, and in my curiosity I explored it a little.  I read, "The Other Person Is Never The Problem."   Whoa.  It's not something I was entirely unaware of, but I obviously needed a refresher.  It's how I react that is the problem if I react in a poor-me or combative or correcting or offended or angry or disappointed or fill-the-blank-of -negativity..... kind of way.

What a tremendous reminder to read and think about the fact that the 'other' person is just as prone to be clumsy, self centered, and as unimaginative as I can be.  What a reminder to suspend judgement for a moment, and really care about the 'other' person's concerns, fears, joy, secrets, shame....and react with a little bit of compassion for whatever motivated their words or behavior.  I guess what happens if I don't examine it is that I have some sort of an idea of how the other person should be and that idea is in conflict with my reality because they are being the way they are being.  So, what's wrong is that I am not that person, therefore unable to change it, and completely responsible for my bad reaction if that happens.

Wow.  The journey is always unfolding, and I'll be checking myself a little more closely in the little white lie department, heh.



  1. Thank you for this, I enjoyed the read. I started checking myself in this area about 2 years ago, it's tough sometimes!!

  2. So true Angelle.
    It's such a different experience depending which side of the little-white-lie you're on..... And if you're the 'teller' what the motivation for it is.

  3. Thanks - of course I related!! Could use some more wisdom so maybe you can send me the link or info on the "The Other Person is Never the Problem" when you have a chance....luv ya!

  4. Sally, here is the link!