Wednesday, October 30, 2013


I do not want to get into the habit of using this lovely blogging area as a place in which to vent and bitch on a regular basis - and I apologize for needing to write this particular blog.  It was in the way of all of the other things I am interested in writing about and hopefully my acknowledgement will clear my path, so to speak.  ~ Kerstin

I've found myself agitated and repelled by debate on a national and international level for some time now, often remarking to my husband that I'm ready to sell everything and move to another location, another country, a simpler way of existence.  My rational mind knows that no matter where one stores their material possessions and lays their head at night, there will be issues and conflict; my heart and soul are heavily weighted by right/wrong conversations or even brash arguments all around me regarding all sorts of challenges this nation and our entire earth faces.  Dinner or drinks with friends, liberal, conservative and right winger friends (and all in between) spouting all over facebook - it's everywhere and I'm tired of it.  It opens up the gate for invisible fear over many things far beyond my control and interferes with loving and feeling loved.

When did we forget about nuance?  When did we begin to lose sight of the large and continually shape-shifting area of grey that subtly and gracefully connects rather than polarizes us as humans?  Nuance helps us to bridge some of the gap when we search for answers to great challenges.  It's so disheartening to listen to or read about radical my-way-or-the-highway thinking.  There is good in the worst circumstances; there is bad in the best circumstances; and always there will be.  I believe that in the grey matter lies the provocative path to compassion, to understanding, to harmony and finding humility and compromise.

On a personal level, I see myself withdrawing from some topics even with people very close to me on the basis of this.  No nuance = little or no compassion.  No nuance = no attempt at understanding.  No nuance = I'm not very interested. And this is the saddest part.  It creates an additional divide; a personal as well as ideological divide.  Why would I want to spend time debating anything in which my fellow debater sees no evidence of grey matter?  Because then it not a conversation in which each party both seeks and imparts greater understanding; it's a lowly and uninteresting who wins and who loses situation.  It is no longer the subject matter only - but a study in who is the more gifted debater; therefore the subject matter falls by the wayside; an opportunity to learn and grow forfeited for a very short lasting feeling of being 'right'.

Health care, national debt, political party lines, who should resign, be impeached, Fukushima, radical environmental concerns, GMOs, climate change, big, small, short and long wars..... AHHHHHH!!! I want to know how your day was - what touched your heart, what you learned about yourself, how you made even the tiniest wrong right, what you did after you made a mistake to correct it, how you did the right thing even when it was the hard road, what made you laugh, what brought a tear to your eyes....I want to know you better than your ideology.  Together, lets explore the mysteries of faith and spirituality, the beauty of this earth, the never ending capacity of Love, the endless ways in which we can be of service to each other.  Each of these possesses great nuance and mystery - that, dear reader, is very interesting to me.

Yes, I know, there are some big things that really need to be fixed - and in my humble opinion it'll take a long time to fix them if we continue to write this evolving story only in black and white - we really need mystery and the grey expanse of nuance to find our way to the creative kind of thinking that begins to solve big challenges.



  1. Ah my dear.. selling everything and leaving is perhaps the easiest way.. or perhaps the hardest way. Many long conversations with the LIFE COACH, and a few with your husband, allows us an out.. a way to run away.. but as coach says are we to run away, or RUN TOO...there is a huge difference. Since we still live in a country where we are still allowed to think for ourselves, one must go back to our core values. And sometimes we must put love of friends, love of country, into perspective.. change what we can, support what we can, always being truthful to ourselves.
    ONE THING i know for sure.. Is my friend KERSTIN, never stops thinking, never stops questioning. One might have to table some subject, or put it in the closet (in your case file cabinet) and bring that baby out another day, re word it, re think it,re arrange it, and cherish it for what it is, or put it back!!! ( speaking to your music)
    I still have some things in my proverbial closet, left over from almost 6 years ago, that i have not had the strength to deal with. I may never have. Right now you and I are dealing with the death of sisters, and even though it has been many months,(years) it comes back to us at this time of year and makes us more tender. I found myself weeping the last few weeks... for no reason, and then.. it was .. oh yeah.. that tender time of year.As we age, and loose loved ones.. those tender times begin to mount up...and sneak up on us...
    So writing in your blog, relieves that pain/stress/ and those of us who read it, identify on that level.
    Much love to you.. always...

  2. And thanks for reading my lowly words!