Sunday, September 8, 2013

eye on the prize

Manifesting one's destiny is a tall order.  The constant challenge of removing obstacles from the path can be distraction enough to temporarily forget the bigger picture.  For some, it's enough to lose sight of goals completely.  How do we maintain that which tethers us to our heart's desire and the gifts we were born to share?

I've been lead to this thought process by a recent experience; a hiccup really; but a provocative hiccup.  It was an encounter by choice that turned out to be nothing like what I expected.  I welcomed another human being into my life on the grounds that it seemed like we were becoming friends only to find that their goal was to get to another person through my connection and nearness physically to this other person.  I had to quickly examine my personal goals in order to navigate the situation; mostly what I expect of myself and the gift of being able to listen closely with love in my heart.  Once I re-employed my goals I was able to care for this person in spite of their disregard for who I am.  What an empowering lesson for me.

I could've easily decided to be angry and upset and I could've easily justified those emotions; I'm sure there are those who would disagree with my choices in the end completely.  At the end of each and every day it's up to us to ask ourselves if we were who we want to be in the course of our interactions with others whether or not they behaved the way we wanted them to.  Most days we come across those challenges because human beings are unpredictable.  Whether or not I should've remained kind to the person I wrote of above because of their actions isn't the debate for me, whether or not I remained kind is a decision because of who I think I am.  Remaining tethered to my personal picture of who I am is keeping my eye on the prize; I am kind, therefore I practice kindness.

What about my other goals?  At this point I'm happy to share that I am dedicated to my walking training and adding in a bit of yoga and swimming laps.  I've started beginning Spanish, and am still developing the daily habit of taking my lesson.  I'm reaching past my perceived limits physically and emotionally, and I'm finding that there is is more there.  The prize is mostly internal (but my legs are looking a bit better!); the prize is knowing deeply that I am who I think I am even when a challenge threatens to unravel my reality.  I've said this in previous posts, and it's worth repeating for myself after another's attempt to take advantage of me; I am enough.  Kindness is not a weakness, it's a vehicle to remain grounded in any of life's little storms.


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