sifting & shifting

I wrote several weeks ago about processing my camino experiences.  The internal discovery parallels the external discovery; as one meets special, deliberate, committed people they, in turn, move the internal cogs of understanding the mystical and magical forces of faith and belief and of learning to love others for who they are.  One kind of person you'll meet on the camino (over and over) is the man or woman who is walking the camino for the second, third, fourth, sometimes tenth time.  While I walked, I struggled to understand this type of person.  Why did they do it over and over?  It's hard.  It's so very challenging on every level: emotionally, physically, spiritually & intellectually.

For weeks now, I believed that I would probably never be one of those who feel the call of the camino more than once.  That changed a few days ago.  On a tuesday afternoon, while doing the regular things that I do - in this case - quietly weaving bracelets for my jewelry business, I felt the pang of longing out of nowhere.  I wanted to be back on the trail, living the hard, but simple and rewarding life of a pilgrim.  I longed for the sense of belonging on this planet with the wind, the wild flowers, the birdsong, the peaks and the valleys, carrying everything I need in a pack strapped to my back.  I craved the immediacy of emotional intimacy with fellow pilgrims; sharing what is most important to us in all of the world in the first ten minutes of our first meeting and conversation.  I imagined the utter peace I felt sitting in a hard pew in any of the stunning cathedrals along the Way.  I recalled the absolute quiet of small villages in the last moments before falling into the deep sleep of one who has expected much from their physical body each day.  I even longed for the healing tears that sprung up, unbidden and generally for no particular reason as I walked and walked.

So, as I sift through my camino experiences, there is a shift.  I'm leaning more and more into that girl who evolved from fears and uncertainties into capable, committed and emotionally and intellectually engaged with the bigger picture.  And the bigger picture is beautiful.  May you walk your way with ultimate guide in your heart wherever you walk: Love.

Love yourselves -
Love each other -
Love y'all

Kerstin